


Amor Deliria Nervosa

by Chelsea Frew (chelseafrew)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 07:59:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3760705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelseafrew/pseuds/Chelsea%20Frew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world in which love has been outlawed, two boys meet and fall in love at first sight. Despite the danger and against all the odds, they are determined to stay together, no matter what the cost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amor Deliria Nervosa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fadedglory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedglory/gifts).



> Thanks so much to fadedglory for the prompts. I adored _Delirium_ , and I was excited to base a fic around that premise. I hope I managed to hit all the notes you imagined when you were writing out this particular prompt. I had a great deal of fun crafting this story.
> 
> Thanks, too, to CL for the encouragement and the beta. I would probably not have finished this more or less on time without her. Any mistakes left in the story are my fault, not hers.
> 
> **A couple notes:** First, for a large part of this story, Harry is two weeks away from being sixteen, and Louis is eighteen. Owing to how close to sixteen Harry is and it being a dystopian society, I opted not to warn for Harry being underage. Use caution as needed.
> 
> Second, the Ziam is blink-and-you-miss it. My apologies to Ziam fans for the slight. Just couldn't fit them in anywhere else....

Harry was bored. He'd finished his prep, but it was way too early to get ready for bed. It was, in fact, still hours before curfew.

Lacking anything else to do, however, Harry flopped back on his bed dramatically, reaching over to switch on the radio. Classical music poured out of the speakers, causing him to groan. He didn't dare change the station, though, lest his mum or Robin hear and come to investigate. He'd rather be left alone, and that was totally possible as long as he didn't rock the boat.

He stared across the room at the shelf of books hanging on the wall, none of them even remotely enticing. He shifted his gaze to the television, but he found he really wasn't in the mood to watch anything that might be on.

Bored. He was bored, bored, bored. And boredom would inevitably lead to worry about the procedure that was now not months, but weeks away.

He was just about to go and find out what his parents were doing when there came a knock on the window. Harry heaved himself off the bed to go check it out, all the while knowing what he'd discover when he lifted the blinds and hoisted open the window, letting in frigid cold air and revealing Niall.

"Niall!" Harry hissed. He continued to speak in a low voice to say, "What are you doing?"

Niall grinned widely, seemingly impervious to the cold. "I came to rescue you."

"Rescue me?"

"Put on a warm jumper and come with me," Niall ordered cryptically.

Harry was hesitant to just go without question. "Come with you where?"

"You're wasting time, Harry. I'll explain on the way."

"Really, Niall? I'm just supposed to sneak out without any clue about what's going on?"

"I'm your best friend," Niall countered. "Would I steer you wrong?"

"Yes," Harry replied firmly. He and Niall had been best friends since Year One. This was not the first time Niall had suggested something with the potential to get him in huge trouble.

"Come anyway," Niall pleaded. He paused for a beat before adding, "Or you can continue to lie on your bed listening to the most boring music in the world. Your choice."

Harry sighed heavily. He didn't really have a choice. Between being bored and being grounded later, he'd risk the grounding. "Give me one second."

"Yay!" Niall cheered quietly as Harry turned to rummage through his chest of drawers for his favourite thick blue jumper. It would have to suffice against the early January chill. He couldn't risk trying to go get his coat.

After slipping the jumper on, he pulled on his worn brown boots. Leaving the music on, then, just to cover his tracks--neither his mum nor Robin was likely to bother him if it sounded like he was in his room doing his prep and putting himself to bed--he climbed out the window to follow wherever Niall meant to lead him.

Niall led the way down to the end of their cul-de-sac and in between the houses to the copse of trees which lay behind the perfectly-manicured lawns. The trees grew more wild and more bountifully the further they walked. And walked.

"Where are we going?" Harry ventured to ask after they'd been walking a good twenty minutes.

"To a party," Niall answered without even looking back at Harry.

"A party? Way out here? What kind of party is it?" Harry peppered Niall with more questions, shivering and wrapping his arms around his torso, wishing he had been able to bring a coat.

Niall turned around this time and stopped. "It's an amazing party. There will be illegal music and lots and lots of dancing, probably some alcohol."

That did not sound like any party Harry had ever attended. The parties he'd attended had been small family affairs with classical music, tiny hors d'oeuvres, and tiny sips of wine, if his parents were feeling generous. One word from Niall's description stood out from all the rest, too. "Illegal? Could we get arrested?"

Niall shrugged. "Maybe. That's part of the fun. Living on the edge. Come on, Harry." Niall grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him along. "Live a little."

It took them another fifteen minutes to get within viewing distance of a small little house--more like a cabin, actually--set right there in the middle of the wood. The sound of music pulsing from within the structure caught Harry's ears, making his heart beat just a little bit faster.

The front door was unlocked when Niall tried it, and it was clear as soon as they entered the cabin that searching for a place to get a drink or a space in which to dance was going to be like threading a needle. They encountered wall-to-wall people from the moment they walked in, Niall shrugging off his coat and laying it on top of the pile gracing the bench next to the front door.

Niall called out to quite a few people as he led Harry further into the heart of the party. Harry thought he heard him greet a "Liam" and a "Perrie," among a couple names he missed owing to the overpowering music getting louder with every step they took.

Finally, they arrived at a small bar area set into the corner of what must have been considered the cabin's great room. Niall gestured to the young man behind the bar that he wanted two of whatever was in the barrel set right on top of the bar. Within seconds, Niall was pushing a red cup into Harry's hand.

Tentatively, Harry sipped at the only slightly cool drink. It was bitter, but tasted a little like rebellion, and that was something Harry very rarely indulged in. He took a few more sips as he followed Niall away from the bar, and with each sip, he felt himself relax.

Niall somehow miraculously found a little pocket of space near where there were a lot of people dancing, and Niall effortlessly began to move, gyrating his hips closer and closer to Harry's personal space, urging Harry to move along with him.

After a few more sips of his drink, Harry hesitantly started to move. He grew a little more confident as the alcohol seeped into his system, and swayed his hips in time with the music.

As he danced, he focused in on the lyrics of the song being blasted, and he realised it must come from the annals of music forbidden to the public decades earlier. They were lyrics that clearly referenced the type of relationship between two people long since disallowed in modern society.

By the time he'd danced through three songs and was heading into a fourth, Niall had refreshed his drink. He could sense his body getting looser, and in the middle of the song, he got the feeling that he was being watched, and not just by Niall.

He cast a glance around the room to figure out who it was staring at him, and it wasn't long before his gaze landed on a boy who looked a little bit older than Harry's almost-sixteen. The boy had hair coloured a caramel brown and piercing light eyes. Eyes that were tracking every movement Harry made. When their gazes met, the other boy raised his eyebrows at Harry and smiled at him in a way no other person had ever done. The boy crooked a finger at Harry, suggesting that he wanted Harry to come move nearer to him.

Emboldened by the alcohol running rampant through his system, Harry sought out Niall's attention and pointed in his admirer's direction, then at himself. Niall nodded, smiling wickedly, and pushed Harry toward the other boy with quite a bit of force.

Harry waded through the writhing crowd until he was standing right in front of the older boy who'd taken notice of him. Harry offered him a shy smile and a wave. The boy waved back, then gestured to a nearby hallway, indicating, Harry concluded, that they should go down it. Harry nodded, and the boy grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him down the hall. At the end of the hall was a small room--it looked like it might be an office--the boy entered, pulling Harry in behind him.

There was a group of people in this room, too, but the music was softer, and the sound of a dozen different conversations floated through the air.

The boy leaned in close to Harry to declare, "I'm Louis."

"Harry," Harry returned.

"Haven't seen you here before, Harry," Louis commented. "First time?"

Harry nodded.

"You're a friend of Niall's?" Louis inquired.

Even as he nodded affirmatively, Harry made a mental note to ask Niall later just how long he'd been frequenting these illegal gatherings. Harry thought they shared everything with each other, but now it was becoming evident that this was not the case.

Louis grinned at Harry, sending a shiver from the nape of Harry's neck right down his spine. "You looked really good out there. Dancing, I mean."

Harry felt his cheeks colour. "Thanks. I've never really danced before."

"That's a shame. You're seriously talented."

Harry's cheeks grew even warmer. What was this feeling? Never in his life had he felt like this, as if he were being lit from the inside. Could it be the deliria, an illness so dreaded his parents and older sister spoke of it in hushed tones? So reviled that years and years ago scientists had developed a procedure to prevent anyone from getting it?

He had no idea, but what he did know was that while Louis was looking at Harry as if he was gazing at the most precious thing he'd ever seen, Harry felt a connection to Louis unlike any he'd had to anyone in his life. Not to his parents, his sister, or any of his friends, including Niall. And they'd traded less than forty words.

"How old are you?" Louis asked, shattering Harry's reverie.

"I'll be sixteen in two weeks."

"Just a few weeks away from the procedure," Louis commented in an even tone.

Harry nodded. "How old are you?"

"I turned eighteen in December."

"So you've had the procedure?" Harry craned his neck to try to see the scar Louis must surely have behind his ear, the one which indicated he'd had the procedure.

Louis gave him a crooked grin and turned his head obligingly, putting the familiar three-dotted scar on display.

"Did it hurt?" Harry wondered aloud.

Louis shrugged. "Wouldn't know. Didn't have it."

"But…?" Harry pointed at the scar.

"It's a tattoo," Louis revealed.

It took a few seconds for the pieces to click together in Harry's brain. "You're an invalid?"

"I am."

Harry felt a rush of panic. It was one thing to be at a party he was pretty sure the police would shut down in a heartbeat. It was another thing altogether to be at that party with invalids, people the government hunted and killed, they were so hated.

"I…I…," Harry began raggedly. "I…have to…." He inhaled deeply, silently reminding himself to breathe, then tried one more time to complete his thought. "I have to go."

Louis grinned and shook his head. "No, you don't. You just got here. We're getting to know each other."

Harry also shook his head. "No, I have to go. I can't afford to get in trouble."

"Aw, a little trouble never killed anyone," Louis pointed out.

"I'm sorry," Harry told him, truly meaning it. "I have to go. Sorry." With one last look at the most handsome boy he'd ever seen, Harry sped from the office to head back to the main room to try to track down Niall.

It didn't take long for him to locate Niall. He stood in the corner chatting with two boys who were probably about the same age as he and Niall. One was stunning, tall with hair that was very nearly black. The other boy looked a little like every athlete Harry went to school with, he was a little bit taller than the stunning boy, his hair a lighter brown. They stood with their arms slung across each other's shoulders, and as Harry approached them, the taller one kissed the shorter one on the cheek. The shorter one responded by turning and kissing the taller one on the mouth.

Harry had never in his life seen two boys kissing each other. This party was just one revelation after another, and Harry felt like he was on overload. He needed to go.

"Ah, Harry! There you are!" Niall greeted him. "Come meet my friends." He pulled Harry by the arm into their little circle. Without giving Harry any time to speak, he made his introductions. "This is Zayn--," he pointed to the shorter of his two friends, "--and this is Liam."

The taller boy--Liam--held out his hand to Harry. "Nice to meet you."

"You, too," Harry returned, ever polite, just as his mum had raised him.

Zayn reached out a hand, too, and Harry shook it as well.

Now the pleasantries were over, Harry turned his gaze to Niall. "I want to go home."

"We've barely been here an hour," Niall protested.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I can't be here anymore." Harry was aware that he was whining, but he didn't care. It was all just too much, and he needed to breathe.

Niall must have sensed how high Harry's level of discomfort was, and he nodded. "Okay." He looked back to Liam and Zayn. "See you lads next time, yeah?"

They both nodded and waved as Niall followed Harry out of the cabin, grabbing his coat from the bench where he'd left it.

Once they were outside, Harry stopped to haul in a few deep breaths. Clearly worried, Niall rested a calming hand on Harry's back and patiently waited for Harry to calm down.

"I'm okay," Harry told him after a couple minutes. He began walking back the way they'd come, Niall easily keeping up.

They hadn't gone far at all when Niall asked, "What happened, Haz? Did Louis say something? Did he do something? He's always seemed like a good guy."

"You know him, then?" Harry confirmed, wrapping his arms around his middle against the chill air outside. 

"Of course. This wasn't my first party," Niall said breezily.

Harry stopped in his tracks. "How many of these parties have you been to?"

Niall shrugged. "A few."

"And you've only mentioned this to me now?" Harry was a little hurt that his best friend had been keeping these outings secret. It made sense, though. Niall hadn't had his procedure yet--his parents had decided to give him a six-month break before having it--and trust Niall to use every moment he had to his advantage.

"You're not usually a rule breaker," Niall returned, speaking the truth. "But your procedure is less than a month away. I decided you needed to experience this first."

Harry had no response to Niall's statement. If Niall had meant for him to be more than merely nervous about the procedure, he'd succeeded. Harry was now wildly nervous and wholly confused. What he'd felt in Louis' presence had made him feel warm, not ill. How could being around someone and feeling like you belonged next to them be wrong?

Niall started walking again, and Harry followed. They traveled without speaking for a short while before Niall--who had never met a silence he couldn't fill--spoke up again. "I'm sorry for dragging you all the way out here."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's okay. I had fun. It was just…overwhelming."

Niall nodded sagely. "It was for me, too. My first time, that is."

They trudged through the woods silently then. Niall was probably thinking about food…his favourite thing. Harry, though…Harry was thinking about Louis.

Louis was unlike anyone else Harry knew. Harry had only, of course, spoken to Louis for a brief time, but he had somehow managed in that short period to wiggle his way into Harry's brain. Just thinking about the soft tenor of Louis' voice sent shivers down Harry's spine that had nothing to do with the cold winter night, and he kept replaying Louis' compliment about Harry's dancing over and over in his head.

Before he knew it, Harry was standing outside his bedroom window. There were no lights on in the house, an excellent indication that his parents, at least, had not noticed his absence.

"So, Haz," Niall whispered, "sorry again."

Just as he had the last time Niall had apologised, Harry shook his head, adding extra vehemence this time. He whispered, too, when he replied, "I had a good time. Despite evidence to the contrary."

Niall grinned. "Good."

"See you tomorrow at school?" Harry checked.

"Yep." Niall nodded and waved before heading off down the street toward his house, a little spring in his step making Harry smile.

Harry set about slowly easing the window open, succeeding in keeping it from making any tell-tale noises. He slipped inside, closing the window with care, then stripped to boxers before throwing on some pyjama bottoms. He left his clothes in a heap, telling himself he'd pick everything up in the morning.

He slid into bed, pulling the duvet cover up to his chin, finally warming up after the brisk walk back from the party. As he closed his eyes, the image of Louis' face filled his mind unbidden. Louis' caramel-coloured hair and azure eyes had apparently etched themselves in his memory.

What on Earth was wrong with him?

* * *

Harry should never have let Niall drag him to a party on a school night, regardless of how bored he'd been. It wasn't exhaustion that plagued him as he sat through his Monday classes, however. It was Louis.

They'd only spoken for a short while, but Louis had managed to worm his way into Harry's brain and take up residence. None of what any of Harry's teachers had to say could penetrate the never-ending loop of the brief conversation with Louis.

By the end of the day, Harry could only hope that he didn't end up needing any of the information dispensed at school that day. If he did, he would be in serious trouble.

He didn't really have much interest in going home when the final bell rang. He wouldn't have been able to focus on his prep any more than he had his classwork. Instead, he walked down to the park built near what long ago had been a busy port.

It was colder down by the water, and Harry pulled his coat in tighter against the chill. The cold also meant he was all alone, though. No one else was crazy enough to be out wandering around near the water in the dead of winter.

As often happened when he was alone with his thoughts, those thoughts drifted to his procedure, just a few weeks away now.

Once upon a time, he had been excited about the prospect of the procedure, secure that it would protect him from the deliria and allow him to graduate from school and then be matched to someone he would make a family of his own with.

Now, though… Now he wasn't sure. One party and one encounter with the most handsome boy he'd ever seen had planted seeds of doubt in his mind. Was protection from the butterflies in his stomach and the memory of Louis' smile and how it had made him feel warm from the inside out really worth it?

He had picked up some small stones from the ground and was trying to skip them on the icy water when a voice startled him.

"Not dancing today?"

Harry jumped what felt like a foot in the air before turning to face the owner of the voice. It was Louis. He struggled to breathe normally in the face of the boy who'd occupied his thoughts all day long.

"Sorry to scare you," Louis went on, though he didn't sound particularly apologetic.

Harry shook his head. "It's okay."

"Why did you leave so soon?" Louis asked with no more preamble.

This conversation was already discombobulating, but Harry did his best to keep up. "The party was just really overwhelming."

Louis shook his head sceptically. "No. I don't buy that."

Harry stopped to think about what to say next. He nervously rubbed the smooth stone he hadn't yet had a chance to skip. After hauling in a deep breath, he admitted, "It was you."

"Me?" Louis repeated, clearly confused.

With a nod, Harry elaborated, "You were overwhelming."

The grin which bloomed on Louis' face was a wicked one. "I have been called many things, but that is my first 'overwhelming.' Thank you."

It was at this point that Harry realised that they were out in a public place. No one else was around given the chill in the air, but the potential was there for them to be seen. For Louis to be seen. "Why are you here? In the park? Inside the city? Aren't you afraid of being caught?"

Louis shrugged nonchalantly. "Sometimes I just like to come into the city." He brushed his hair back to reveal the scar, or, more correctly, the tattoo. "I look like I belong, remember?"

"But you don't live in the city, do you?" Harry asked him.

"Nope," Louis answered succinctly, popping the 'p' for good measure.

Harry was at a loss for what to say now. He had told Louis he'd found him overwhelming at the party, and Louis was no less overwhelming now. His eyes, the colour of which had been tricky to determine in the dim lighting of the party, turned out to be a warm blue, and his face was just as handsome as Harry remembered it. And just as had happened at the party, Harry found himself drawn to Louis like he'd never been to anyone before.

"What are you thinking?" Louis interrupted Harry's reverie.

"What are you doing to me?" Harry returned helplessly.

"Not quite as much as I want to," Louis replied in a husky whisper.

Harry barely had time to gulp in reaction to Louis' assertion before Louis snaked a hand up behind Harry's neck and pulled him in close. Before Harry knew what was happening, Louis' soft warm lips were covering Harry's unprepared ones.

Harry had never been kissed before, and he froze. This did not deter Louis in the slightest. He continued to press his mouth to Harry's, willing, it seemed, to give Harry time to join in.

The feeling of Louis' lips on his sent shivers racing up and down Harry's spine. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Though it took him a moment to wrap his head around the idea that this was actually happening, Harry finally began to move his mouth in concert with Louis'.

The shivers doubled in intensity when Louis' tongue nudged in between Harry's lips and began exploring the inside of Harry's mouth. Tentatively, Harry allowed himself to guide his own tongue into Louis' mouth. Harry thought he tasted coffee and chocolate, and he finally understood what his parents meant when they used the word "heady."

They only parted when Harry was utterly and completely breathless. He stepped back to haul in a deep breath as he gazed at Louis' face, which was emanating pure satisfaction.

"Was that your first kiss?" Louis inquired gently.

Harry nodded, a blush warming his cheeks. "Sorry if I wasn't very good at it."

Louis shook his head. "I wasn't complaining."

Harry's blush deepened, and he smiled shyly.

Louis reached out to pull Harry to him again at the same time as Harry glanced down at his watch. Louis' hand was just cupping the back of Harry's head when Harry backed away. "I have to go."

"Again?" Louis' tone was a perfect mix of incredulity and disappointment.

"I'm sorry." Harry meant it. "If I don't get home, they'll come looking for me."

"I get it."

Harry swiveled on his heel to leave, but then turned right back around to face Louis once again. "Can I see you again?" he asked in a voice filled with hope.

"Same time, same place tomorrow?" Louis suggested.

Harry gave a quick nod. Impulsively, he stepped forward to press a light kiss to Louis' lips. "See you tomorrow."

"I'm already looking forward to it."

Harry knew exactly how Louis felt.

* * *

The following week was the best Harry had ever had. Also the most frustrating, most confusing, and most scary.

As soon as the bell rang signaling the end of the school day, Harry would hurry to the park, meeting up with Louis by the water. The pair would then walk through the park, into the woods, and to the cabin where they'd first met. Turned out that though it was full of people on party nights, the rest of the time it was unoccupied and the perfect place for Harry and Louis to get to know each other.

At first, Harry was slow to share too much of himself with Louis, while Louis was more than happy to share himself. Louis told Harry about leaving his family and the city to live with the invalids. Louis talked about how he just couldn't bear to go through with the cure, how he wanted to feel whatever it was his body felt. He hadn't wanted to be controlled by the system. He admitted that the past two years had certainly been challenging, but completely worth it.

And they kissed. They kissed a lot. Harry was pretty sure he was addicted to Louis' mouth, and he was equally sure that the feeling he got whenever they kissed was exactly what the cure was supposed to stop, though he couldn't fathom why. When he and Louis were connected, it felt like he imagined flying would feel. It was, quite literally, the best thing he'd ever felt, and the thought of losing it by having the procedure was becoming scarier and scarier with each passing day.

When the first Saturday after they'd met up in the park came around, Harry didn't want to skip seeing Louis. In the morning, he was obligated to do his house chores, but he did them as quickly as he could, then left to go to Niall's, telling his mother that he was going to study at his best friend's house, then spend the night. She didn't question this arrangement one bit. After all, Niall and Harry had been sleeping over at each other's houses on Saturday nights since they were little.

Once he was at Niall's, they barricaded themselves in Niall's room.

"You have to help me," Harry demanded, sitting himself down on the end of Niall's bed.

Niall sat down in his desk chair. "Does this have something to do with where you've been going every day after school?"

Harry squirmed uncomfortably, but nodded nonetheless.

"Do tell." Niall rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

Harry felt his cheeks warming as he pulled in a deep breath. "It's Louis," he explained on the exhale.

Niall's eyebrows rose so high, they almost disappeared up beneath his hairline. "From the party? Louis from the party?"

Harry nodded weakly.

"He's an invalid, Harry."

"I know."

"You've been seeing him every day after school?"

"Yes?" Harry answered warily.

It was Niall's turn to nod as he processed this information. He appraised Harry carefully while Harry squirmed some more, feeling like a bug under a magnifying glass. Finally, Niall said, "I take it you're not just chatting."

This time, Harry shook his head. He whispered, "I think I have it, Niall. The deliria."

"What have you been doing with him?" Niall wanted to know.

Harry cleared his throat nervously, then replied, "It started with mostly talking."

"Mostly?" Niall repeated. "What were you doing when you weren't talking?"

"Kissing." Harry shot Niall a sheepish smile. "It's amazing, Niall. I haven't felt anything like this before. Ever."

Niall sighed happily. "Kissing is the best, isn't it?"

It was Harry's eyebrows' turn to climb impossibly high on his forehead. "You've kissed someone?"

Niall nodded. "A girl named Barbara. She's an invalid, too. We met the first time at one of those parties."

Harry frowned. "You need to stop keeping secrets, Ni."

"You should talk," Niall countered. He paused for a brief moment, then continued, "So, it's serious, this you and Louis thing?"

With a shrug, Harry told him, "I don't know. He makes me feel things I never imagined were possible."

"So, how can I help?"

"I'm supposed to go meet him this afternoon. I told my mum I was going to be here today and tonight. Can you cover for me?" Harry regarded Niall hopefully.

"Sure," Niall agreed easily. "For how long? Are you going to spend the night with him?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Harry?" Niall questioned, a grave look on his face.

"Niall?" Harry intoned in a much deeper voice than usual.

Niall ignored Harry's attempt at levity. "You'll be careful, yeah? I know it's all very exciting. Believe me, I know. But it's dangerous."

"You said you've kissed an invalid," Harry pointed out, confused by how hard Niall was coming down on the issue of safety.

"At parties, yeah," Niall concurred. "But nothing deeper than that. This thing you have with Louis…it sounds serious."

Harry knew the blush deepening in his cheeks was a dead giveaway that Niall was reading the situation clearly.

"I'm just saying be careful, Haz. If you're caught…."

"I know. If I'm caught, I am in a big, huge mess." Harry knew the risks, but he was also as certain as could be that Louis was worth it. "I'll be careful, Ni. I promise."

"Okay, then. I'll cover for you," Niall finally agreed. "Just don't stay out too late tomorrow. The last thing you want is your mum sniffing around this."

Harry got up from his perch at the end of the bed to throw his arms around Niall. "Thank you! You're the best friend ever."

"You owe me," Niall remarked as Harry let him go. "I'm already thinking of what you can do to pay me back."

"Make it something big," Harry told him.

Niall got up and opened a window with a view of their front lawn, peering out to check that the lawn was clear. "Go, Haz."

"Thanks, Ni." Harry crouched to slip through the window, thankful that his friend's bedroom was on the ground floor of the house.

As soon as he'd cleared the bush in front of the window, Harry turned back around to catch Niall watching him. He waved to his friend, then rushed off the lawn and down the street, heading in the direction of the woods he had become a lot more familiar with in the last week.

He had planned to meet up with Louis at the cabin. Louis had said he'd get there around noon, and it was five past when he left Niall's. He rushed through the forest in the direction of the cabin in hopes of arriving before Louis gave up on him and left.

By the time he arrived at the cabin, he was hot and sweaty and out of breath, but Louis was still there, reclining on the ratty couch in the lounge.

Louis looked up and beamed when Harry stumbled in, breathing heavily. "Hey there, love. Did you run all the way here?"

Louis moved his legs out of the way so Harry could collapse at his side. Harry sat down and nodded. "Didn't…want…you…to…think…I…wasn't…coming." 

Reaching out to grab Harry's shaking hand, Louis said, "I would've waited all day for you."

Harry could feel his breathing getting easier, and he smiled back at Louis. When he didn't feel like his chest was going to explode, he leaned forward and kissed Louis, first softly, then with a little more fervor.

When they parted to grab some air, Harry confessed, "I told Niall."

Louis shook his head in confusion. "Told Niall what?"

"About us," Harry answered sheepishly.

Louis' eyes widened in surprise. "You need to be really careful, Harry. One wrong person finding out and they'll drug you into oblivion."

"I know. Niall will keep our secret."

"Are you sure? He seems like a good guy, but they give rewards for catching people not sticking to the program," Louis reminded him.

"I trust Niall," Harry insisted. "He won't tell anyone. He's covering for me today, and I know he won't give me up, even if he gets pressed."

"I hope your faith is well placed." Louis' tone was serious.

Harry may have been naïve in the ways of those who had the deliria, as it was all so completely new to him, but he was well versed in the dire consequences placed upon those caught with the disease. Most were drugged until they had no memory of having ever had the disease or of anyone they had been with, then they were given the cure immediately, even if they weren't yet sixteen.

This had happened to a girl a year ahead of him at school, and she had never been the same again.

"Niall won't give us up," Harry told Louis confidently.

"Okay, then." Louis paused for a moment, then moved close enough to be crowding Harry on the couch. "Let's make Niall's sacrifice worth it."

Harry accepted the kiss, then threw himself into it with abandon. Over the week they had spent together, this had become Harry's favourite thing. There was absolutely nothing like the sensation of Louis' velvet tongue caressing the inside of Harry's mouth, nor anything like the taste of Louis on his own tongue.

Harry startled, however, when Louis' hand moved from its usual location around Harry's hip and slipped under the waistband of Harry's trousers. Harry backed up almost involuntary, shooting a shocked gaze in Louis' direction.

"What are you doing?" Harry whispered, completely confused. They had never gone this far before.

It certainly wasn't Harry's first time feeling himself going hard. It had happened several times before; his parents had assured him it was natural, and that the cure would help him to control his body. This was the first time, however, that he had felt himself going hard because of someone else's touch. Louis' touch.

"I'm showing you that there's more," Louis explained.

"More?" Harry could feel his voice shaking, but was powerless to stop it.

Louis nodded. "More. More ways to feel. More ways for me to show you how I feel about you. More ways for you to show me how you feel about me."

Harry had no real response to that, just opened his mouth in a silent "o."

"We don't have to do anything you aren't ready for," Louis went on. "I don't want to push you."

Harry knew he wasn't supposed to want to do anything. He knew that he was supposed to wait. Sex was for the purposes of procreation and only procreation. None of that knowledge, however, kept him from wanting Louis. He shifted himself so he was sitting right beside Louis once again. He took Louis' hand and put it back where it had been before Harry moved away. "I want you. I want to feel more with you," he admitted softly.

A grin broke out on Louis' face. Despite his obvious joy, he asked, "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded. "I'm positive."

"Okay, then." Louis pulled his hand out from under the waistband of Harry's trousers only to unbutton and unzip them. He then gestured for Harry to stand up and shed the trousers and his pants.

Harry made quick work of stepping out of his bottoms then sitting back down next to Louis, the very first person to ever see him in this state of undress who wasn't related to him.

Louis stripped himself of his clothes before unbuttoning the shirt Harry was wearing and helping him to add it to the pile of clothes on the floor. Then he took Harry's hand and guided him to the ratty easy chair sitting adjacent to the couch. Once Harry had sat down, Louis clambered into his lap, attaching his lips instantly to Harry's.

This new intimacy was a little awkward for Harry, but it didn't take long for him to settle into it. As Louis kissed him, he risked resting his palms against Louis' chest, exploring the smooth planes before letting his hands venture to the muscles of Louis' biceps.

When Louis had had his fill of Harry's mouth, he began trailing kisses down Harry's chest, stopping off at first one nipple, then the other. Harry bucked under his ministrations, and he felt himself grow impossibly harder, to the point where it was almost painful.

"Louis," he moaned as Louis slipped off his lap to kneel on the floor, his mouth never leaving Harry's body.

"You're so beautiful, Harry. So, so beautiful. All new, and all mine," Louis said against the skin taut over Harry's stomach. He then softly kissed his way down the fine line of hair leading to Harry's angry red erection.

Harry had zero experience here, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that what he wanted--needed--at that moment was for Louis to take his erection in his mouth. He jutted his hips up to try to send that message to Louis.

Louis got the message loud and clear, placing his lips over the head of Harry's member, flicking his tongue over the slit. Shockwaves of pleasure raced up and down Harry's spine. "More, Louis, more," Harry begged.

Louis took his mouth off of Harry with a resounding "pop." "You want more?" he asked, his voiced pitched low.

"Please, Louis. Yes."

"Your wish is my command." Louis wasted not more than a second before he returned his mouth to Harry's erection. He sucked at the head teasingly before taking in more and more until his mouth almost reached the base. He brought his hand up to cover the part he couldn't quite fit.

Looking up at Harry through his eyelashes, Louis smiled as best he could around Harry's penis before he began to move up and down, slowly at first, then with increasing speed.

Harry threw his head back with abandon, overwhelmed by the sheer number of dueling sensations racing through his body. Louis' mouth on his body was the best thing he'd ever felt…bar nothing.

It was not long at all before all those electrifying sensations gathered in Harry's groin and all the warning he had time to give was, "Louis, I'm…."

Louis pulled off only far enough that he could swallow everything Harry released when his orgasm overcame him. He only slid his mouth off when Harry went completely soft and relaxed into the chair.

Louis leaned back on his haunches and smiled up at Harry, an arrogant look on his face. "So, how was that for wish fulfillment?"

It took Harry a moment to collect himself. He straightened up in his seat and gazed down adoringly at Louis. "That was…amazing."

"You're welcome."

Harry was struck with a sudden realisation, and he gazed down to Louis' lower half. "What about you…?"

Louis grinned. "I'm just fine." Harry's gaze took in Louis' softening member and he realised that Louis must have climaxed when Harry did.

"Good," Harry said, relieved.

Now that the biggest moment in his life was over, Harry began to shiver. He wrapped his arms over his chest and rubbed his arms with vigour.

Louis immediately picked up Harry's clothes and placed them on Harry's lap. "Let's get dressed, and I'll build a fire."

Harry did not argue with Louis' command. He stood up and quickly pulled on his clothes against the midwinter chill seeping into the cabin. Louis did the same, then grabbed Harry's hand to guide him over to the fireplace.

There was a small rug set in front of the hearth, and Louis urged Harry down onto it before he plucked some logs from the small pile to the left of the fireplace. He collected some matches from the mantle, and in no time, a warm fire was growing.

"Getting warmer?" Louis asked, settling himself next to Harry.

Harry nodded, reaching for Louis' hands, lacing their fingers together.

They sat in silence for a little while, each just enjoying the fire and the company. Eventually, Harry disturbed the quiet with a question. "Is that why?"

Louis' forehead creased with confusion. "Is what why what?"

"What we just did…. Was that why you didn't have the cure?" Harry expounded upon his query.

Louis paused a moment, then nodded. "In a way, yes."

"In a way?" It was Harry's turn to request clarification. "I know you said you decided you didn't want to be controlled by the system, but was there more?"

With a deep breath and an audible exhale, Louis said, "I was about a month away from my sixteenth birthday, and, a lot like you, I got dragged out here to a party. I had never experienced anything like it before, also like you. I met this guy called Alex. He was a few months younger than me, and we had an instant connection."

"Like we did?" Harry interjected.

Louis nodded. "I suppose so. We were both in this place where we were questioning the cure and how we felt about being a part of the system. We were both worried about who we might be matched with, and we were both having feelings we didn't know what to do with. We experimented a lot, kissing, then more, then more. What I just did to you, Alex did to me, and it was amazing."

"Where is he, then? Alex," Harry clarified.

Louis sighed heavily, shaking his head sadly. "My relationship with Alex was so intense that I decided not to have the cure, and I ran away from home. I couldn't bear the thought of giving up what Alex and I had. But Alex couldn't do it. He couldn't run away. He had the cure, and he lives in the city with his wife. I haven't seen him in almost two years."

Harry offered Louis a sympathetic smile. "I'm so sorry, Louis."

Louis shrugged. "He wasn't strong enough. And now I have you."

"But you've only known me a week," Harry protested.

"I know," Louis conceded. "But there's something about you. I feel a connection to you that I've never felt to anyone before. Not even Alex."

Harry squeezed Louis' hand. "I feel it, too. It's amazing. Like nothing I've ever felt before."

Louis used his grip on Harry's hand to pull him in for a sweet, gentle kiss.

When they pulled away from each other, Harry asked, "What are we going to do? I'm scheduled to have the procedure in two weeks."

"Do you want to have it?" Louis questioned, deadly serious.

Harry shook his head. "No. Not if it means I'll lose you."

"Then I think you have two choices." Louis reached for Harry's other hand so he could hold both of them in his own hands.

"What choices?"

"We can work with some people I know to fake your procedure."

"That sounds difficult…and risky," Harry remarked, scrunching his forehead as he considered the idea. "If my parents caught on…." It didn't even bear imagining how angry they would be if they were to find out he hadn't gotten the procedure they'd planned for his entire life.

"It is difficult and risky, but it's doable. It's been done," Louis assured him. "You could stay at home until we could figure out how to get you out."

"What's my other choice?"

"Run away now. Leave home. Come with me." Louis smiled softly, lifting his eyebrows in question.

Harry sighed. He felt so unprepared to deal with a decision like this. And he knew he didn't have a lot of time. "What do you think I should do?"

Louis shook his head. "I can't be the one to make that decision. This is your life."

"I don't know what to do," Harry lamented.

Louis tugged on Harry's hands and turned him around so Harry's back was resting against Louis' chest, then wrapped his arms around Harry's middle. "It's okay. You don't need to decide anything right this second. Take a day or two; think about it."

Harry nodded, relaxing in Louis' embrace. "Okay. I can do that."

They were silent, then, for a little while, simply enjoying being in each other's company. The fire was warm, and the idea of going out into the cold again was not appealing.

Eventually, though, it grew dark outside, and Louis asked, "How long will Niall cover for you?"

"All night, he said," Harry responded. "I told my mum I was going over there to study and spend the night. We do that all the time."

"I have you all night?" Louis confirmed incredulously.

"If you want me," Harry said, smiling softly.

"Of course I do. I have so much more to teach you, and this cabin happens to come fully equipped with a bed and a semi-stocked kitchen."

"Semi-stocked?"

"There will be lots of party-type food we can scrounge for dinner," Louis explained. "After that, we can have more lessons."

"Lessons? There's more you can teach me?" Harry twisted his head to gaze at Louis behind him.

"So much more," Louis answered. "So much more."

Harry pushed himself up, standing awkwardly. "Then let's not waste any more time."

"Eager!" Louis reached for the hand Harry offered him to aid in standing next to him.

"You've no idea."

* * *

Harry was loath, the following morning, to say goodbye to Louis, but he knew he had to. He promised to meet him the next day after school, kissed him thoroughly, then made his way back through the woods and straight to Niall's house.

Niall was clearly asleep when Harry knocked gently on his window. It took him a moment to open the windows, his eyes bleary with sleep. "Haz," he greeted him with a rough voice. "Come on in."

"Thanks." Harry climbed through the window, then sat down cross-legged beside Niall on his bed.

"So, I take it you met up with Louis," Niall opened the conversation, yawning the moment his words were out.

Harry nodded before sighing dreamily at the memory of his day and night with Louis. "It was amazing."

"Amazing, eh?" Niall's eyes asked for more detail.

Harry felt a blush creep up his neck and settle into his cheeks. "We did things…. I didn't even know it was possible to feel like that."

"Ah," Niall said, raising his eyebrows knowingly, finally fully awake.

"Why do they think this is bad?" Harry asked plaintively. "I have never felt more alive than I feel when I'm with Louis. Why would they think that's so wrong they created a procedure to stop it?"

Niall shrugged. "I have no idea."

Harry pulled in a deep breath before sharing his big news. "Louis wants me to skip the procedure and run away with him."

Niall's chin dropped almost comically. "What?"

"Or he thinks he can get someone to help me fake the procedure so I can finish school, then we can be together," Harry went on.

"Harry! What on Earth are you talking about? You've known him what? A week? And you're thinking of running off with him?" Niall's voice squeaked about every other word, and the look on his face was of abject horror.

"I can't explain it, Niall. I feel…whole when I'm with him." Harry could think of no other way to put it. Being with Louis was like finding out for the first time where he really belonged.

"Are you seriously considering this? Skipping the procedure?"

Harry paused for a moment to be sure of what he might be about to commit to, then he nodded. "I am. I don't care if it's a disease. I don't ever want to stop feeling this way about him."

Niall sighed.

A horrifying thought occurred to Harry. "You aren't going to tell, are you?"

Niall's gasp was as horrified as Harry's thought. "Of course not! You're my best friend. I would never. I'll help you however you need me to. I won't tell another living soul. I promise."

Impulsively, Harry wrapped Niall in a hug. "Thank you."

They sat in amiable silence for a minute or two, each of them contemplating the weight of Harry's decision.

In a small voice, Niall disturbed the silence with a question. "Are you scared?"

"Petrified," Harry admitted.

"Which do you think you're going to do, just leave or fake it until school is over?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know if I'm ready to leave my parents and Gemma, but I do know I can't lie to them for very long. I don't think I have any other choice but to just go."

"You'll be leaving me, too," Niall remarked softly.

"I know," Harry whispered.

"You have to do what's right for you, though," Niall told him, support in every single word. "Even if I will miss you like crazy."

"I'll miss you, too." Harry reached out for another hug, this one a little fiercer than the last.

When they let go of each other, Niall had another question. "So, what can I do to help?"

Harry offered him a soft smile. "I haven't told Louis my decision yet, so there's no real plan. Once there is, I may need your help to keep my secret and keep me from freaking out."

"Absolutely," Niall assured him. "I can do that."

"Thanks, Niall."

After a brief pause, Niall continued, "When are you going to tell him?"

"I'm supposed to meet him tomorrow after school. I'll tell him then." Harry knew he would have to spend the next day really thinking over the decision he was pretty sure he'd already made. Once he made that decision, made preparations, and left, there would be no going back.

"He'll be so happy," Niall predicted.

"I hope so," Harry returned fervently.

"If he isn't, you can't go with him." Niall's tone was firm and brooked no argument. "You can't leave your family for someone who isn't thrilled and ecstatic that you're going to be with them. Promise me you won't leave if he isn't truly excited."

"I promise."

"Okay, then." Niall clapped his hands. "What are we doing this afternoon?"

Harry thought hard about their options. "Go see a film?"

"All propaganda!" Niall declared.

"We'll sit in the back and mock it?" Harry amended.

Niall smiled with approval. "Let's do it." It would not be their first time participating in such an activity. "First, though…breakfast!"

Harry leaped off the bed and made for the door. "Race you!"

"Cheater!" Niall tumbled off the bed as Harry pulled the door wide open and sped into the hall.

Niall followed Harry down the hall and as they crashed down the stairs toward the kitchen, Harry found himself already missing his best friend. He vowed not to miss a moment before he had to go. He turned around to face Niall as they approached the threshold of the kitchen, then let him win.

* * *

Harry learned literally nothing the day after he'd made his decision. His teachers might as well have been speaking a different language. Harry was way too busy contemplating the choice he was about to make and what Louis' reaction to that choice might be. If he was leaving school not too long from then, there didn't seem to be a whole lot of point in focusing on it too hard, anyway.

When the final bell rang, he went to his locker to grab his coat and drop off his things. Niall was waiting for him there, leaning casually against Harry's locker. "So, when are you meeting up with Louis?"

Harry consulted his watch, pretending that he hadn't been counting the hours and minutes until he got to see Louis again. "In an hour at the edge of the wood."

"You're still planning on telling him you're going to skip the procedure to be with him?" Niall spoke in a low tone so as not to be heard by anyone other than Harry.

After checking to make sure no one was listening in, Harry said, "Yes."

Niall smiled and impulsively threw his arms around Harry.

When Niall let him go, Harry asked, "What was that for?"

"I am going to miss you so much."

"I'm not going very far," Harry countered. "You'll still see me."

"Only until I have my procedure," Niall pointed out.

"Well, that's not for two months. We still have some time."

Niall nodded. "True."

Harry dumped his books on the top shelf of the locker and shrugged on his coat. "Walk with me to the woods?"

"Sounds great."

Harry slammed his locker door shut. "You ready?"

"Let's go."

Their walk through town was quiet and amiable. They stayed away from the subject of Harry's defection and just talked about things happening at school and silly things their friends had done recently.

They made it to Harry and Louis' meeting spot in good time, early, in fact. There wasn't, as yet, any sign of Louis, so the boys found a tree to sit under while they waited.

It wasn't long, however, before Louis emerged from the tree line and ambled over to where Harry and Niall were sitting. Harry and Niall rose almost as one to greet him.

"Louis," Harry said with a smile.

"Harry." Louis returned Harry's smile, then turned to Harry's best friend, holding out a hand. "Niall. Good to see you."

Niall took the proffered hand. "You, too."

Louis turned his attention back to Harry. "You ready to go?"

Harry nodded. He looked over at Niall. "See you tomorrow, Ni."

"Will I?" Niall checked.

"You will," Harry assured him.

"Louis." Niall sought out and met Louis' gaze. With all the seriousness he could muster, he ordered, "Take care of him."

Louis smiled softly. "I promise."

"See you tomorrow, Haz," Niall said before heading back toward town.

"What was that about?" Louis asked Harry as soon as Niall was out of earshot.

"I'll tell you when we get to the cabin," Harry vowed.

"Let's go, then," Louis urged, already moving back in the direction from which he'd come, Harry jogging to catch up.

As soon as they were safely in the woods, Louis reached for Harry's hand, lacing their fingers together, then swinging their joined hands between them. Harry grinned at the connection.

They had a mundane conversation as they walked to their hideaway. Louis asked how school had been, Harry talked about the very little he remembered from the day, Louis talked about the food he'd purloined and stored at the cabin for them to snack on. Before they knew it, they'd arrived at their destination.

Louis unlocked the door and led the way inside, immediately heading to the fireplace to get a blaze going while Harry moved into the kitchen to prepare two cups of tea. In no time at all, they were sitting in front of a roaring fire with two steaming cups. Harry thought he'd never, ever been happier.

"So," Louis took a cautious sip of tea, "what was that about, that 'see you tomorrow' thing with Niall?"

"I made a decision," Harry announced.

"About the procedure?"

"About you," Harry corrected.

With a gentle smile on his face, Louis inquired, "What did you decide?"

"I want to be with you," Harry revealed.

"Now or when you're done with school?"

"As soon as I possibly can."

Louis put his cup down on the small rug they were sat on, and reached for Harry's cup, setting it down beside his own. Then he snaked a hand around the back of Harry's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. When they needed to breathe, Louis only retreated far enough to draw in the air needed to say, "I want you to be with me, too."

Once Louis had thoroughly plundered Harry's mouth, they separated only long enough for Louis to gather Harry into his arms, Harry's back curved against Louis' chest.

"Am I doing the right thing?" Harry whispered.

"I can't answer that," Louis replied. "Only you can. I hope you are."

"Did you ever regret skipping the procedure and leaving home?"

"There were moments," Louis softly admitted. "I miss my mum and my sisters. But this was the right decision for me. I just couldn't bear the idea of getting matched and living a life like my parents. They were miserable."

"Now that I've met you, I can't imagine being with someone a computer picked for me." Harry shuddered. "My sister's husband is nice, but dull as dirt."

"I'm not dull?" Louis concluded.

Harry grinned and twisted his head around to meet Louis' gaze. "Absolutely not. Quite the opposite, actually. You are the most fascinating person I've ever met."

Louis kissed Harry's temple and pulled him in closer. Harry couldn't help but shiver.

"Still nervous?" Louis inquired.

Harry nodded. "Ten days ago I hadn't even met you. Now I'm giving up everything I know to be with you."

"A long time ago, they had a saying," Louis told him. "Love at first sight. I think whoever came up with that idea felt what we're feeling."

"Love at first sight," Harry repeated. "That sounds just about right."

They were quiet for a moment, the only sound in the room their breathing and the crackling of the fire. Harry was simply reveling in being in Louis' embrace. He felt safe and loved in a way he hadn't since he was very small and still able to curl up with his mother.

"Look," Louis disturbed the silence. "I know it's a scary decision. When is your procedure?"

"Two weeks from today," Harry said. "My birthday is next Monday, my procedure a week later."

"So think about it for a few days. You have time. Then, when you're sure, we'll make a plan."

"I'm not going to change my mind," Harry insisted.

"Then taking a few more days to think won't make a difference, and you'll be extra sure," Louis pointed out. "It's not something you can change your mind about once you leave."

Harry nodded. "Okay. That makes sense."

"I'll still see you every day," Louis went on. "And I'll start rounding up what we'll need, including someone to tattoo you."

"There'll be room for me where you stay?" Harry checked.

"Absolutely. There's a network of safe houses, and they make room for whoever needs a place to stay."

"I want to celebrate my birthday with my family, then I'll make my final decision."

"That sounds very logical," Louis responded.

Harry looked down at his watch. He would have to be home in just over an hour. "Can we just sit here and be warm by the fire until I have to go?"

Louis hugged him close. "Your wish is my command."

* * *

The next week passed much as the last. Harry saw Louis every day after school, and on the weekend, Niall covered for Harry once again so he could spend the night with Louis.

He had a feeling his parents were starting to get suspicious about the sheer amount of time Harry was spending "studying"--they asked a lot of questions before he left for "Niall's"--but he decided not to care. Once they'd celebrated his birthday, he was leaving, and it wouldn't matter.

The morning of Harry's sixteenth birthday dawned bitterly cold, but bright and sunny. There was not a cloud in the sky as Harry rose and was greeted with a drowsy, but enthusiastic rendition of "Happy Birthday" courtesy of his parents and a visiting Gemma.

His mother promised a dinner full of all Harry's favourite foods, and she suggested that he might want to get home a little earlier than he had been doing. Surely, she surmised, he had studied enough in the last two weeks to pass every subject with flying colours this term.

Harry felt a little guilty knowing he'd been lying to his mum, but Louis was worth it. Of that, he was entirely positive.

At school, he was treated to another round of "Happy Birthday" care of the group of friends Niall had gathered around Harry's locker. Harry had to fight tears thinking about how much he was going to miss Niall when he left. He had been a constant in Harry's life for such a long time.

He didn't really pay much attention to his classes that day. He simply accepted the many happy birthday wishes that were thrown his way and soaked in the atmosphere, storing the memories away for when he was gone.

After school, Niall walked Harry to the park and handed him over to Louis.

"Happy birthday, love," Louis said, leaning forward to kiss Harry's cheek, seemingly uncaring as to who might see them. Harry supposed if anyone confronted them, they could just brush it off as one friend offering a birthday greeting to another.

"Thanks," Harry replied with a smile.

"Hi, Niall." As he had the last time Niall had come with Harry to the park, Louis held out his hand to Harry's best friend, and Niall shook it warmly.

"Hi, Louis."

As soon as Niall dropped Louis' hand, Harry reached for it, lacing his and Louis' fingers. "Shall we go? We don't have a lot of time."

Louis nodded. "Okay. See you, Niall."

"Bye," Niall returned. "Happy birthday, Haz."

"Thanks for everything, Niall."

Harry didn't waste any time watching Niall depart from the scene. He practically dragged Louis through the park to the woods.

Louis came to screeching halt as soon as they crossed into the tree line, however. Harry turned to him with a confused look on his face.

"You think you know where you're going?" Louis inquired enigmatically.

"Aren't we going to the cabin?"

Louis shook his head. "Nope. Come on." He tugged on Harry's hand to pull him in a different direction than they usually went in.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked as they walked over the dried-up leaves in their path.

"It's a birthday surprise," was all Louis would say.

They walked about fifteen minutes more before they came to a little lake Harry had never seen before. As they approached it, Harry could tell that it was frozen over. He also noticed a little outcropping of rocks beside which lay a blanket with a basket on top of it.

Harry shifted his gaze from the basket to Louis. "Is this my surprise?"

"Yep. Let's sit down." Louis guided Harry to the blanket, urging him to take a seat.

Harry sat down, then Louis sat right beside him, reaching for the basket.

"What did you bring?" Harry questioned eagerly.

"Patience, love." Louis pulled two wrapped sandwiches from the basket and set them on the blanket, then extricated a thermos. "Turkey sandwiches and tea. I hope that's a suitable after school snack."

Harry grinned. "Sounds tasty. Did you make them yourself?"

"The tea, yes, the sandwiches, no," Louis replied, grinning back at Harry. "I got the sandwiches from the same shop in the city that I got these." He reached back into the basket and retrieved a small box he opened very carefully, tipping it so Harry could peer inside.

"Cupcakes!" They were vanilla cupcakes, one with blue icing, one with green, a white candle nestled between them. "For my birthday?"

"Not every day one turns sixteen," Louis pointed out sagely.

"And you went all the way into the city to get everything?" Harry confirmed.

Louis nodded.

"Isn't that dangerous?"

With a shrug, Louis confessed, "It could be. I have the tattoo, though. As long as I'm careful and act as I should, I can get away with it once in a while. For a special occasion."

"Well, I'm honoured you took such a risk for me," Harry told him with absolute sincerity.

"You're worth it." Louis set the box of cupcakes down and picked up a sandwich to hand over to Harry. "Let's go ahead and eat. Like you said, we don't have much time."

Harry didn't waste any time unwrapping the sandwich he took from Louis and tucking in. "This is amazing," he said, moaning appreciatively.

After swallowing his own bite of sandwich, Louis explained, "Marissa always does a great job for me. I had her make them special. No pre-made sandwiches for my birthday boy."

Louis pulled out a couple bags of crisps for them to share, and they ate in companionable silence. Even if it was cold out, the day was otherwise beautiful. The late day sky grew more purple as they ate, and there was nearly no wind, so it was comfortable just sitting on the blanket and looking out at the little lake.

When all that was left of the crisps and the sandwiches were the wrappers and bags, Louis asked Harry which cupcake he wanted, the green or the blue. Harry immediately claimed the blue one. "It's just like your eyes."

Louis rolled his blue eyes at Harry's sentimentality, but Harry didn't care.

Louis placed the white candle on the cupcake Harry had chosen and reached into his pocket and pulled out a book of matches. He lit the candle and held the cupcake up. "Make a wish."

Harry closed his eyes and wished to live with Louis for the rest of his days. He did not much care about that, either. It was his birthday. He was allowed to be sentimental.

Once the cupcakes were gone, Louis gathered Harry into his arms and situated them so they could both look out on the lake. The lake was bathed in the dying daylight, and Harry could just make out the first stars of the night.

"I should go soon," Harry said, his voice filled with regret.

"I know." Louis squeezed Harry tight.

"I've made my decision," Harry told him next.

"So, you did think, like I asked you to?"

Harry nodded against Louis' upper arm. "I did. I want to come be with you."

Louis sighed contentedly. "Okay, then. I'll make all the arrangements. When do you want to go?"

"As soon as I can."

"How about tomorrow? I should be able to arrange everything in twenty-four hours."

"That sounds good. Should I plan to bring anything with me?"

"Pack no more than two bags with clothes and any small things you absolutely can't live without. We often have to move around, and the less you have to carry with you, the better," Louis explained.

"No more than two bags. Got it."

"We'll meet at sundown in our usual place in the park. We can use the nightfall as cover to work our way through the woods to where my group is staying right now. Can you do that? Sneak out when it starts to get dark?" Louis checked.

Harry nodded confidently. "I think so. My parents are starting to get a little suspicious, but by then it won't matter, since I won't be back."

"Then we have a plan," Louis concluded.

Harry peered up at the sky. "I can't wait, but I should get going. I know my mum is making a special birthday dinner for me. I told her I'd be at the library after school, but she'll be expecting me home soon."

Louis began placing things back into the basket hastily. When he was done, he stood, offering Harry his hand and helping the younger boy up. He folded the blanket and stored it inside the basket, now empty other than the debris from their snack. "I'll walk you back to the edge of the woods."

"I'd like that."

Louis took the basket in his left hand and Harry's hand in his right. They walked quickly and quietly through the cooling woods, just enjoying their last moments in each other's company.

When they made it back to the tree line, Harry broke their silence. "Thank you for the birthday tea."

Louis smiled. "It was my pleasure. Happy birthday." He put both the basket and Harry's hand down to take one of Harry's cheeks in each of his hands, using the leverage to pull Harry in for a sweet kiss.

When they parted for breath, Harry said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"And tomorrow we won't need to say goodbye," Louis reminded him.

Harry returned Louis' smile. "I can't wait."

* * *

Harry soaked up his birthday dinner and every moment he had with his family that evening. His mum made her famous spaghetti, and his sister and her husband Jake came over. They ate dinner, he blew out candles on a delicious chocolate cake, and they played charades. It was a memorable evening, even if there wasn't anything particularly different about it beyond them doing typical birthday things they didn't do every other night.

If he hugged Gemma a little tighter when she and Jake left to go home, he didn't think anyone noticed. He would miss her a lot. She had always been the best big sister he ever could have asked for.

He stayed up late into the night just talking to his mum. She thought it was just Harry wanting to reminisce about the sixteen years he'd been alive one week before he had his procedure--a procedure which had been known to strip sentimentality from some who had it. He, however, was storing each word they traded away to revisit later, when he was far away.

The next day at school was much as his birthday had been, a day on which he did not pay much attention to his studies, but instead just enjoyed being around his friends, particularly Niall, who he would miss more than just about anyone.

Unlike how he'd been doing the last few weeks, he went directly home after school. His mum, Anne, was so surprised by his presence that she insisted upon him sitting down for a cup of tea with her.

"So, how was school?" she asked from her seat across from him at the kitchen table.

Harry shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Nothing special."

"I feel like this is the first time I've really seen you in weeks," she noted pointedly.

"It's a lot to keep up with this year. If I don't keep up with my prep, I will fail miserably," Harry lied.

"Well, the way you've been going at it, I expect your report card to be straight As."

Harry smiled. With the amount of attention he'd been paying in school since meeting Louis, he would be lucky if he passed any of his subjects--not that it mattered anymore.

"Is there anything else going on?" his mother diligently kept up her line of questioning.

He shrugged again. Since he couldn't tell her about how his life had changed irrevocably the moment he'd gone to that party with Niall, all he could say was, "Not much. School's been really busy, and that's all I've had time for."

They sipped silently at their tea for a short time before Anne pressed on in her quest to figure out just what was going on with her only son. "Are you nervous about your procedure? It's just six days away."

Harry offered a third shrug, praying his mother wouldn't suddenly become hopelessly suspicious. "I haven't really thought about it. I guess I might be a little nervous."

Anne reached a hand out, placing it warmly over Harry's own. "You'll be fine."

"I hope so." That, at least, was an honest response. He hoped he'd be fine running away from everything he'd ever known. He sucked down the last of his tea. "I need to go pull my things together. I'm supposed to meet Niall a little later to work on a project we have coming due."

His mum nodded. "Okay, love. Thanks for sitting with me for a bit."

After he stood, cup in hand to drop off at the sink, Harry impulsively leaned down to kiss Anne's cheek. "It was nice. Thanks for the tea."

When he got up to his room, Harry dumped the contents of his backpack--some school books, a small collection of pens and pencils, some dirty gym socks, and a banana peel--onto the floor and began repacking it with items which would be much more useful after tonight. He stuffed the backpack with clean pants, clean socks, a couple pairs of jeans, several favourite t-shirts, and, in deference to the winter season, three jumpers.

He pulled a duffle bag down from the high shelf in his closet and began packing it with toiletries, shoes, a few of his favourite books, and some pictures to remember his family by.

By the time the sun started to descend for the night, Harry was well prepared. He shrugged on his backpack and slung his duffle bag over his shoulder. He walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where his mum was making dinner.

"I'm going over to Niall's now," Harry announced.

Anne turned from where she stood at the stove, stirring whatever concoction she was in the middle of making. He raised her eyebrows at the amount he was carrying. "You look like you're planning to move in with the Horans."

Harry chuckled. "Nope. We just need a lot of stuff for the project."

"Ah," she said. "When will you be home?"

"Not sure. Could be late. We've kind of left it to the last minute."

"Harry!" his mum scolded. "You know better than that."

"I know." He walked over and kissed her cheek, fighting tears at the realisation that he was likely never going to see her again.

Anne raised a hand up to cup his cheek. "Are you okay, baby?"

Harry nodded, struggling for just an ounce of stoicism. "I'm fine. Just really tired."

"Well, work quickly, and you can come home for a good night's sleep."

He nodded once more. "I'll try. See you later, Mum."

"Okay." She turned back to her pots and pans.

Harry took one more look at his mother, swallowing what felt like a huge lump in his throat, then he left the house.

He stopped at Niall's before heading toward the park. He knocked on his friend's window, and Niall answered pretty quickly.

Niall's gaze swept over the bags Harry was toting and he gave him a sad smile. "So, you're really doing it? Leaving with Louis?"

"I am," Harry confirmed.

Niall sighed. "I will miss you every single second." He climbed out the window and threw his arms around Harry.

Harry squeezed Niall right back. "I'll miss you, too. I wish I could take you with me."

Niall let Harry go to point out, "You'll have Louis."

"True," Harry conceded. "But nobody knows me quite like you do."

"You're going to be just fine," Niall assured him.

"I hope so," Harry echoed the words he'd used not long before with his mother. He looked up at the darkening sky. "I should get going before Louis thinks I'm not coming."

Niall flung his arms around Harry for one last hug. As he let go this time, he wished, "Stay safe."

"I shall try." Harry reaffirmed his grip on his bags. "Take care, Ni."

"I shall try," Niall parroted with a wide grin.

Harry hurried across the Horans' yard, turning back once to wave another goodbye to Niall before setting off for the park.

Louis was already there when Harry arrived, leaning against a tree. He barely had time to wave a greeting to Harry before Harry was grabbed from behind.

He shrieked and fought off his attacker. "Louis!" he cried. He couldn't escape the grip of whoever held him from behind.

"Harry," Louis called back, starting to run in Harry's direction with the obvious intention of helping.

Harry watched helplessly as men who were clearly members of the police force descended upon Louis, turning him around and fastening his hands behind his back with handcuffs. "Louis," Harry choked out again, this time through a torrent of tears.

"It's going to be okay, Harry!" Louis called out as the police dragged him away from Harry and down the sidewalk.

Harry couldn't even imagine how this was going to be okay even as he felt the tell-tale prick of a needle in his arm, and he was no longer able to imagine anything.

* * *

When Harry woke, he was lying on his bed, his mother and step-father peering down at him.

"Mum? Robin?" he croaked with a raspy voice. "What's going on?"

"Who was that boy, Harry? Who were you meeting?" Anne demanded information.

That was when Harry remembered the police dragging Louis away, and tears immediately sprung to his eyes.

"Were you planning to run away with him?" Anne wanted to know next. "Harry? Answer me."

"I love him," Harry whispered.

Anne gasped.

"I knew it," Robin declared. "We caught him just in time."

"Where is he?" Harry inquired. "Where's Louis?"

"He's been arrested. He won't ever bother anyone again," Robin told him.

Gemma came in the room just then with a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of medicine in the other. "Is he okay?" she asked Anne.

"He will be," Anne answered confidently.

"How did you find us?" Harry demanded to know. They'd been so careful….

"I was really worried about you this afternoon," Anne explained. "You seemed so nervous, so twitchy. I thought something was up. I called up to Robin as soon as you left and asked him to follow you."

"I followed you to Niall's," Robin picked up the story. "And if you'd stayed there, I'd have turned around and gone home, but you headed for the park, so I called the police to meet me there. I gave you a sedative while they took your…friend…to the police station to charge him with attempted kidnapping."

"Kidnapping!" Harry exclaimed. "He wasn't going to kidnap me. We were going to be together. We're in love. I love him."

Anne sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a hand over his hair in what was clearly meant to be a soothing matter. "I am so sorry I didn't realise you were sick sooner, baby. I have just what you need to take to make everything better." She gestured to Gemma for the items she was holding.

Gemma handed the glass of water and the pills over to their mother.

Anne thrust the glass of water directly into Harry's hand, then opened the pill bottle, tipping three small capsules into her hand. "This will take care of everything."

She began to pass them to Harry, but he reached out a hand to push them away. "I don't want them. I want Louis."

His mother shook her head. "You're never going to see that boy again, Harry. Take the pills."

Again, she attempted to pass the pills to Harry. Again, he refused. "No."

"Don't make me force you, baby," Anne warned. "You have to take them."

It was at this moment, looking into his mother's fiercely determined eyes, that Harry knew he had no choice. He'd waited too long to make his escape, and now he would pay for that mistake for the rest of his life. He began to cry, unashamed of the tears coursing down his cheeks.

Gemma grabbed the glass from his hand before it could spill all over the bed while Anne took him in her arms, squeezing him tightly. "It's going to be okay, Harry. I promise you, it will."

It took what seemed an age for him to cry himself out, but eventually, he could shed not another tear. Only then did his mother let him go, holding the pills out to him a third time. He suspected he would not be offered a fourth try to take them himself.

With a fervent, sincere apology to Louis--wherever he was--Harry popped the pills in his mouth. Gemma handed the glass to him and he swallowed them down. They were the bitterest thing he'd ever tasted.

"Sleep well, son," Robin wished, leaving the room first.

"See you tomorrow, little brother," Gemma said, leaning over to kiss the top of Harry's head before following Robin out.

"When you wake up, you won't even remember anything bad ever happened." Harry knew Anne meant her words to be reassuring, but they felt like lead weights in his stomach. He didn't want to forget Louis. Not now, not ever.

Anne kissed his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning, my love."

With that, he was all alone. He fought them, but the pills instantly made him feel sleepy. He had no choice but to lay his head down. As he did so, he struggled to picture Louis' face, hear the way Louis laughed, imagine the sensation of Louis' lips on his own. With each minute that passed, however, remembering became harder and harder, until he couldn't even remember what it was he was trying to remember.

* * *

The room was bathed in darkness when he awoke, though there was a hint of light outside the window signaling that dawn was not far off.

As Harry climbed into wakefulness, he tried to recollect what had happened before he had gone to sleep. The last thing he remembered was talking to his parents and Gemma before bed, but he couldn't quite recall what they had discussed. Maybe it had been school. Maybe it had been Gemma's anniversary, not too far away now. Maybe it had been his procedure, just five days hence.

Just the thought of his procedure sent his stomach roiling. He lay back against his pillow and closed his eyes, fighting the anxiety-driven nausea.

As his stomach calmed, an image appeared in the forefront of his mind, one completely unbidden. A boy with messy brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. A boy whose visage immediately made Harry's insides warm and comfortable. But who was the boy? No one at Harry's school looked quite that amazing.

A word floated through his head and Harry fought to catch it. It took a moment, but with great concentration, Harry seized it. He sat stock-still up in bed as he did.

"Louis."

End (14 April 2015)


End file.
